Played.

Apparently, I'm not worthy of even a "hi" anymore.
And just last week you were in love with me.

Interesting.

I feel dumb and overall played.
I'm trying not to trip, to just act like maybe it's just some accidental thing,
but when phone calls and messages go ignored for days there is no accident involved.
It means he didn't give a fuck enough to even attempt to contact me on his own, even if he, for some unexplainable reason, couldn't receive any of my calls he still didn't think about me to the point where he felt the need to contact me.

And I can't even think of one reason why this is happening. I don't know why, but I feel like if I could pinpoint something I did or some event that transpired that led us here I'd be ok. But I'm coming up blank.

It fucking hurts and I'm pissed.

But I'll get over it.
I have to. Right?

Everybody was right. They said when I finally fell I was gonna fall hard, and the shit was gonna hurt. I swear to God I wish they were wrong.

So for now I'm gonna let John Mayer keep talking to my soul and hope these tears are a good sign that healing is on the way.

On repeat...

Validated.

It's crazy to me how just hearing him say certain things, things I should already know, makes everything alright. And as retarded as I feel about even feeling confused, he understands. He listens and reassures me, and all my little fears and those God awful insecurities just disappear. It's at those moments when I remember all over again why I'm in love with him. It's just the best.

you got me straight trippin boo.

i'm up thinking about him,
and he's probably not thinking about me,
but i swear i miss his ass like crazy.

ugh i hate feeling like this!
but i gotta give him time and space,
shit i kinda need it too.
it's just hard man. :[