Happy Halloween!

Mike Tyson + Bobby Brown = The Purest Fuckery in Television History.

Amel!

My best friend and I drove the 2 hours to San Diego to hear the beautiful and ridiculously talented Amel Larrieux sing, and it was worth so much more than the gas money and the ticket cost combined. I felt like I was in heaven just watching her control that stage and hearing her voice glide effortlessly over the sounds of her band playing beautiful jazz melodies. She sang every single song I that I'd hoped she'd sing. It was as if she had put the entire show together especially for me. If you ever have an opportunity to see her live, do yourself a favor and go. And if you don't have them already all of her albums are worth purchasing, but I especially recommend "Bravebird". I feel rejuvenated and on top of the world right now. Thank you so much Mrs. Larrieux for making tonight beautiful.

Irreplaceable.

It's crazy how a dream can make everything so clear even in all it's abstractness.
Dreams can tell stories using all of your innermost thoughts to answer every question and they can reveal so much about you that you couldn't see while awake. The dream I had tonight was a revelation in the truest sense.

I won't recap the dream itself but I will explain what it's revealed to me. I keep searching for someone to fill the void left by my father never being around. It's made me needy and clingy and overly suspicious of every male I've ever dealt with. Afraid that just like my dad they were making promises they would never keep. I have an overall distrust of men and I justified it in my mind because of my dad, but in all honesty I know it's not fair. Don't get me wrong, I know I shouldn't be running around trusting every man 100%, no questions asked, but I can't automatically distrust them all because of the mistakes of one man.

So I've made up my mind. Next time I'm going to let go of my fear. Next time I'm not going to complain when he's taking some time to get shit right for himself. Next time a man tells me he loves me I'm going to believe it instead of questioning it constantly in the back of my mind.

I can't replace my father. I can only forgive him and move forward. I have to learn to accept that he wasn't capable of being all I needed, but he still loved me in his own way. He's gone now, and there is no changing the past, but I can make sure my future is much brighter.

♥

Friday Night Lights.

It was too much to type so I just gave up and recorded this audioblog.
Enjoy & thangs.

I Cant Even...

... put the events of tonight into words yet.
My date was... man. Just know you've got one hell of a blog coming your way once I organize all my thoughts in the morning.

Good Hair.

I swear everytime I hear older black women talking about "good hair" & "bad hair" I just think about this scene in "School Daze". Does my hair texture really matter?

"Why are you wearing all that good hair in a big ol' puff?!"

-rolling my eyes x 234098503953405345-

It's just hair. It grows out of my head, just like every other human. With all that's going on in the world it's sad when people have time to worry about how somebody's hair naturally grows out of their scalp.

Sorry my mama's co-workers/friends/my play aunties get on my damn nerves sometimes.