This is why I'm hot.

Ooops upside ya head.

This will be me soon if people don't stop fuckin' with me.

A GREAT DAY!

Real Talk

Ok, so it took a while, but I finally have come to terms with my current situation. I tried to front like this break-up wasn't affecting me, like I didn't give a fuck one way or the other, but to be completely honest it's been killing me inside. How do you not miss your best friend? I mean we had inside jokes, we have memories, we have history. I swear I could just look at him sometimes and he looked at me and we just busted out laughing because we knew what the hell eachother were thinking. It was like that, and we were falling apart for months, but it's still hard as hell to just let go. It just isn't as easy as I tried to make it seem, I mean how could it be?

You get used to seeing someone everyday, used to the way they do things, and then they're gone and everything is supposed to just be ok? It's not ok. I'm not ok. I love him, and it still hurts, and I found myself looking for a cure somewhere else and he only made things worse. He just made me miss what I had, because what I had was here and mine, 100%.

I don't know what I'm saying exactly, I mean I don't see me getting back with my ex, but I guess I'm just learning and growing with this experience. I have to let it go, I have to go through the process of moving on, it's not immediate or easy by any stretch of the imagination, and I have to recognize that.

Yep, I'm growing you guys. Don't give up on me yet, lol.

Over it.

I
almost
let
you
make
me
forget
how
fuckin
fly
I
am.

ALMOST.

mmm whatcha say?

Be careful...

CAUTION: Posting this video is liable to get you banned from a community website, lmao.



DAMN YOU CARL THOMAS! LMAO

take that, take that...

damn i miss jamie foxx the comedian.

you got me straight trippin boo.

i'm up thinking about him,
and he's probably not thinking about me,
but i swear i miss his ass like crazy.

ugh i hate feeling like this!
but i gotta give him time and space,
shit i kinda need it too.
it's just hard man. :[

I EFFIN LOVE MY FRIENDS!!!

i swear they're the best! i was over here dying just watching this. i love you guys soooooooooooooooo much! some of these pictures need to be destroyed though... lol

It's my BIRFDAY!

and i'm spending it with everyone i love most.
i brought it in with my most favoritest people,
and i'm wildin out with even more of them tonight.
overall i'm just thankful for all my blessings,
and happy that God has blessed me to see another year
happy, healthy, and loved!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! :]

R. Kelly's not guilty?!

MAAAAAN! the whole hood saw the video.
R. Kelly CLEARLY pissed on that little girl, but he's not guilty?!
i'm kinda mad about it.

my heart...

so i'm an aspiring songwriter,
everyone who is pretty close to me knows that,
so i thought this might be a cool outlet to share some of the things i'm working on.
here's a snippet of something i wrote and recorded recently...

Gawd I love our late night chats...

Neek: you're gonna fall asleep at the computer?
Chocolate Thunda: well, i'm in my bed with my laptop
Neek: naked?
Chocolate Thunda: so it's possible i might just doze off in the middle of doing something
Neek: jacking off?
Chocolate Thunda: as much as i'm sure you'd enjoy those thoughts, i'm not
Neek: thank God
Chocolate Thunda: lol. whatever

bipolarness

the homie c-loco caught my bipolarism in action, lol.

c. loco: how the hell you go from screaming and distraught to getting hyphy?
neek: it's just my nature! lol

she's so hood...

i was talkin' to my homeboy about my relationship with my mom,
and it was really making me appreciate her and all she's done for me.
she's just real, and she tells it like it is,
and thats the reason she's one of my best friends.
i can tell her anything and she doesn't judge me,
and if i ask for advice she's gonna tell me straight up how she sees it.
she understands the things about me that most don't.


kanye said it best:

"if you admire someone you should go ahead and tell em,
people never get the flowers while they can still smell em."

i need her to know before she leaves this planet, that without a doubt,
she has raised a strong, self-reliant, and intelligent woman,
and i appreciate all the sacrifices and hard work it took to do so.
i love you ma!

This is my Official Summer Anthem

Earth girls are HELLA easy, bro.

"earth girls are easy" comes on showtime like once a week for some reason,
and i watch it everytime, lol.
this movie makes me wish i was an adult in the 80's,
and this is like totally my favorite scene.

daughter's day...

ironically my birthday is on "father's day" this year.
let's see if he calls me.

lmfao. oh man, i crack myself up.

i heart her...

keri hilson can do no wrong in my book.
and my book is law.

and if you don't know who she is you better google her baybay.

rough ass day...

just had like the biggest argument in the history of arguments today.
but honesty is always the best policy... right?
he knows where i stand.
i know where he stands.

we're just not standing together.

i guess now we're just a memory and a lesson learned.
never compromise on the things you truly value,
because it may solve the problem temporarily,
but eventually it will come back to bite you in the ass.

and with that said, i'm done.

My perfect proposal...

involves one of these and a note saying
"will you marry me? yes no or maybe".

please take note.

"Thank you for bein' a friend..."

I FLIPPIN LOVE "THE GOLDEN GIRLS"!
i've watched it on lifetime since like elementary school.
this picture was taken at the tv land awards this year. i wonder where sophia is.
anyway, when i get old i'ma be just like blanche, so watch out fellas. lol

"work ain't honest but it pays the bills..."

for some reason this is hitting home for me right now.
i know way too many chicks living this life, and i don't want it for mine.
i think it's one of my biggest fears.

reason #4 why neek should be single.

deepness...

i'm feeling so lost right now.
it shouldn't be this easy to get wrapped up in some shit,
but here i am ya'll, and i'm wrapped tight.

i'm trying to be as ambiguous as possible,
because this just ain't one of those things you can just say point blank.
i wish it was, because i need to know that i'm not crazy,
that i'm not trippin right now.

i love the way it feels,
but i just can't stand the uncertainty.

blog, you'll keep this between me and you right? coo.