Real Talk

Ok, so it took a while, but I finally have come to terms with my current situation. I tried to front like this break-up wasn't affecting me, like I didn't give a fuck one way or the other, but to be completely honest it's been killing me inside. How do you not miss your best friend? I mean we had inside jokes, we have memories, we have history. I swear I could just look at him sometimes and he looked at me and we just busted out laughing because we knew what the hell eachother were thinking. It was like that, and we were falling apart for months, but it's still hard as hell to just let go. It just isn't as easy as I tried to make it seem, I mean how could it be?

You get used to seeing someone everyday, used to the way they do things, and then they're gone and everything is supposed to just be ok? It's not ok. I'm not ok. I love him, and it still hurts, and I found myself looking for a cure somewhere else and he only made things worse. He just made me miss what I had, because what I had was here and mine, 100%.

I don't know what I'm saying exactly, I mean I don't see me getting back with my ex, but I guess I'm just learning and growing with this experience. I have to let it go, I have to go through the process of moving on, it's not immediate or easy by any stretch of the imagination, and I have to recognize that.

Yep, I'm growing you guys. Don't give up on me yet, lol.